Man, it seems that everywhere I go, Unclejis appear out of nowhere. This would be normal if I were at Oak Tree Road in Iselin shopping for bhendi, cause bhendi is awesome when you eat it with chapati. But lately, I've observed Unclejis in places where I least expect them.

It all started a couple years ago when Unclejis started appearing at desi parties. At that time, I said to myself "Hey, maybe they didn't know that this party is for a much younger crowd." But after that incident, there was at least one Uncleji at every single desi party. The trend still continues. You have a bunch of college kids at a desi party and out of nowhere, you spot one Uncleji, who is there either by himself or with his wingman (or his "partner" because Unclejis probably don't know the concept of a wingman). At first I only saw Unclejis at desi parties. But like a virus that starts attacking all your organs, Unclejis started appearing at non-desi parties. Curry Bear last saw an Uncleji at club Abyss. I really wish they had an Abyss for me to push them into. I don't know what they come to these parties for, but my only guess is that they are there for the eye candy. They sit around like vultures and stare at the girls. In fact, at Abyss I saw the Uncleji standing like he was mesmerized by the Abyss girls.

But nothing is worse than this: Unclejis at strip clubs. It's not just a case of one or two Unclejis. It's like half of Mumbai is there. There are so many Unclejis at strip clubs that sometimes you wonder if it's a 7-11 convention. The last strip clubs Curry Bear went to were Delilah's Den and The Go-Go Rama (and if you go here, make sure you get a dance from Rayann...and wear goggles so you don't get pink eye). At Delilah's, there's about ten Unclejis at the most. But at The Go-Go Rama, it was a herd of Unclejis. Everywhere I turned, there was a guy that looked like my superfob Uncle. In fact, there are so many Unclejis at the Go-Go Rama that the strippers lie and say they're Indian. One of the strippers even said "Kaise Ho?" to me. I replied "Yous a ho!". And another one made up a story of how she was Indian and from Bangalore. I guess the stupid girl thought that a Dominican girl with a Dominican Doobie would pass off very easily for a girl from Bangalore just because she has brown skin and changed her name to Mya.

What really makes me wonder is, what are these Unclejis saying to their wives when they come out to strip clubs? How do they come up with lies? What about their children? Who manages the Dell call center when these guys are at strip clubs? Who?!? These Unclejis have ruined a lot of strip clubs. In fact, The Go-Go Rama reeks of curry more than an Indian restaurant. I'm afraid that the strippers might start having a b.o. problem too. It's just weird to see all those Unclejis, whom you've come to expect to be goody-two shoes type of guys, at strip clubs and desi parties. I think I'm more devastated about the fact that these Unclejis are scumbags just like me who are willing to pay money to have a woman lose her dignity for four minutes. In a way, every time I see an Uncleji at a strip club, I picture my Uncle Ramesh (yes, I really have an Uncle Ramesh). It makes me wonder, can my Uncleji be like this too? It's things like these that keep Curry Bear awake at night. And this entry was just my way of venting, because my psychiatrist said I need to write more about my feelings. So there it is kids, Curry Bear's feelings about Unclejis. Hopefully, none of you have Unclejis that go to strip clubs and desi parties. Lets hope that your Unclejis are the kind of guys who stay home on Friday night and watch Zee TV.