Here are some things you can look for in identifying them:
- Always wear polos. The Jews have their yamaka anduys have their polos. If you look into their closet, it'll look like a warehouse for Aeropostale. These guys love their polos. If you're lucky, sometimes you can catch a few of them wearing p these golos in the Winter even after the Earth has been frozen to it's core. Like a set of pool balls, these guys will have them in solids and stripes.

- The Brooklyn cut - I've said it a million times before, and I'll say it again. These guys all rock the same hairstyle. Maybe these guys think that people might confuse them for Italian-Americans because of their tan skin. Or maybe they all are hoping to be Tony Soprano's illegitimate son. You will see peace in the Middle-East before the BK cut goes out of style amongst Desi kids.

- White sneakers - Not just any white sneakers; these guys will rock the latest Pumas or Diesels. They won't even settle for the cheap imitation Sketchers bullshit. If you spot one of these guys and he's not wearing a pair of Pumas or Diesels, he's not the "big dawg".

- Another common thing amongst these guys is by an earring. It'll either be a tiny hoop or a diamond stud. Hopefully if these guys aren't posers, they will make sure to put it on their left ear. Fossil watches (or any bright, shiny thing on their wrist) are another big thing amongst them.

The Super Thug - Every campus has to have one of these. Raised in Jersey City, Edison or any Indian populated city in America, these guys do their best to replicate the style of a black man. Don't get me wrong, every brown man wishes he had certain characteristics of a black man. OK that's a wrong statement. Every brown man wishes he had one characteristic - a black man's dick; everything else regarding a black man he doesn't give a shit about. For black men, life is a big trade off. You're blessed with a big dick but you also got the po-po's on your ass. Getting back to our point, there are way too many desi guys acting like thugs.

It's simple to identify super thugs:
- If someone tried to clone Usher and in the process accidentally mixed his genes with a brown person (or a camel), you will result in the creation of the Super Thug. Super Thugs will always be dressed like whoever is the most popular hip-hop artist at the present (50 cent, Jay-Z, Game, you get the drill).

- You will see them in nothing but hoodies, sweatpants and funky colored jeans that you can only find "downtown". No matter what city they live in, the place to buy these jeans will always be "downtown". However, unlike Usher None of these guys will ever wear a pair of hoodie and pants made of suede. Why? Because suede gets ruined when it rains. And thugs don't carry an Umbrella, ella, ella, a, a.

- Super Thugs have a very common trait - they all wear Timberland (or Timbs' as you young kids say it). You will rarely see these guys out of their Timbs'. These guys will show up to gym class in those shoes. Or maybe they've worn these shoes for so long that it has some how been glued to their feet. Even though several years ago Timbs' were all Thugs would rock, now they have a lot more varitey with brands such as Lugz and several others.

- Jewelry is a department where a lot of brown thugs don't shine, literally and figuratively speaking. My guess is that their budget ran out after the clothes and the shoes, and they didn't plan ahead. Once in a while, you will see a Super Thug with a big chain dangling around his neck. However, unlike black people, the brown thug will have a simple chain. It won't have spinners or be a giant clock medallion.

The ABCD - Aaah the ABCD. We all know someone who was born in America and never visited the motherland. If he is lucky, his parents may have embedded some brown culture into him. Otherwise, all you have is a person who is a coconut. ABCDs can be identified by one easy to spot trait - their preppy clothes. To be as white as possible, they will only wear the whitest clothes, and I don't mean in color. Happy cows come from California and preppy clothes come from Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister and American Eagle. If you see a brown person wearing clothes only from the mentioned brand, you have found yourself a true ABCD.

- One thing popular amongst the hardcore ABCDs is dying of the hair. They will dye their hair enough so no one can tell they're Indian but can see that they're some kind of brown. It's easy to spot these guys in public. They'll only hang out with white kids, so the only brown guy will stand out like a lion amongst a herd of deer.

Curry Bear hopes this helps you identify with some of the desi people you meet at college (and even in High School). Some of you may relate to the article and for some, hopefully this will open up a whole new world! If you have any tidbits of your own, you are more than welcome to share with Curry Bear.

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The game will be an MMO - an acronym used by gays and nerds. For the nerds, it means Massive Multiplayer Online and for the gays, it means Massive Man Orgy. If you are not familiar with video games, MMO's are one of those games where people live in a fictional world, build up their character, and go from town to town fighting people. The best way to learn about MMO's is to find the next Asian guy you see and say the words "World of Warcraft" to his face. Curry Bear is always worried when a new MMO comes out. People start playing these games for days without eating or taking a shit. There have been hundreds of cases where people have literally died from playing games for hours. Hopefully this will be a fun game and us brown people won't go crazy playing it for hours. Future Ravan is so much cooler than ancient Ravan.

Curry Bear's wish is that hopefully a game developer will make a Kama Sutra game for the Nintendo Wii. Ohhh the physical movements I would mimick with that Wiimote....

But nothing is worse than this: Unclejis at strip clubs. It's not just a case of one or two Unclejis. It's like half of Mumbai is there. There are so many Unclejis at strip clubs that sometimes you wonder if it's a 7-11 convention. The last strip clubs Curry Bear went to were Delilah's Den and The Go-Go Rama (and if you go here, make sure you get a dance from Rayann...and wear goggles so you don't get pink eye). At Delilah's, there's about ten Unclejis at the most. But at The Go-Go Rama, it was a herd of Unclejis. Everywhere I turned, there was a guy that looked like my superfob Uncle. In fact, there are so many Unclejis at the Go-Go Rama that the strippers lie and say they're Indian. One of the strippers even said "Kaise Ho?" to me. I replied "Yous a ho!". And another one made up a story of how she was Indian and from Bangalore. I guess the stupid girl thought that a Dominican girl with a Dominican Doobie would pass off very easily for a girl from Bangalore just because she has brown skin and changed her name to Mya.

What really makes me wonder is, what are these Unclejis saying to their wives when they come out to strip clubs? How do they come up with lies? What about their children? Who manages the Dell call center when these guys are at strip clubs? Who?!? These Unclejis have ruined a lot of strip clubs. In fact, The Go-Go Rama reeks of curry more than an Indian restaurant. I'm afraid that the strippers might start having a b.o. problem too. It's just weird to see all those Unclejis, whom you've come to expect to be goody-two shoes type of guys, at strip clubs and desi parties. I think I'm more devastated about the fact that these Unclejis are scumbags just like me who are willing to pay money to have a woman lose her dignity for four minutes. In a way, every time I see an Uncleji at a strip club, I picture my Uncle Ramesh (yes, I really have an Uncle Ramesh). It makes me wonder, can my Uncleji be like this too? It's things like these that keep Curry Bear awake at night. And this entry was just my way of venting, because my psychiatrist said I need to write more about my feelings. So there it is kids, Curry Bear's feelings about Unclejis. Hopefully, none of you have Unclejis that go to strip clubs and desi parties. Lets hope that your Unclejis are the kind of guys who stay home on Friday night and watch Zee TV.

Here's the basic storyline: Akshay Kumar [Aroush], Ritesh Deshmukh [Tanmay] and FerozFardeen Khan [Ali] are bachelors living in Australia and banging chicks left and right. But their life comes to a halt when they wake up one day and find a baby at their doorstep. I always wondered where babies came from. This is all I should say for the plot, because there is a lot more to this movie that you have to watch. Once the baby comes into their lives (which is within the first 20 minutes), their life is in disarray and the jokes keep coming. Oh, and Vidya Balan's in this movie too. She's soooo prettttttyyyyyy.....

The music in this movie is also pretty hot (just don't listen to the song where all three guys singing to the baby). My favorite song is the title song Heyy Babyy and Mast Kalandar. I hope to see the latter song at every Bhangra competition this year. If you're a fan of old skewl stuff like Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan, you'll like Mast Kalandar. And you gotta give it to Akshay Kumar - only he could pull off a turban and a beard and look hot (no homo). If the Taliban would stop blowing shit up and dance like Akshay Kumar, the world would be a better place. When all the actors are dancing to this song, you can tell that Akshay's got them all beat in the dancing department.

Another thing I enjoyed about this movie was the cameos. In the title song, you'll see just about all the hot Bollywood actresses make an appearance. It was like an overload of hotness. It was an orgy of cameos. And yes, Curry Bear pleasured himself to this song in the theater. You should try it sometime - no one knows what you do when the theater is dark and they think the sticky stuff is from the soda. Shah Rukh Khan also makes an appearance for a song and busts a move with Akshay and Ritesh. Curry Bear feels that Shah Rukh and Akshay should star in a comedy together - or at least have a dance competition to see who is better. I almost forgot, this movie also stars actor Boman Irani - the man famous for playing the mean professor in Munnabhai. The casting director did a nice job of casting him for a small role.

Heyy Babyy is definitely one of Curry Bear's favorite movies. The only flaw Curry Bear sees in this movie is that it felt like it was dragging a bit towards the end. But the majority of this movie will keep you laughing and giggling. Curry Bear highly recommends you to watch this movie if you're a Bollywood fan. I don't want to hype it up by saying it's the best comedy ever, but with all the crap that's been coming out, this movie is a breath of fresh air.

And yes, it is safe to watch this movie with your parents. That is if your parents are cool with the idea of condoms, titty jokes, girl coming out of the pool in a bikini and a hint of fornication during a song. If your parents don't mind that, you can watch it with them.

Because this is a quick review, Curry Bear will give this movie 4 paws out of 5.

Since I didn't want to disappoint you, here's the music video of the title song that features nearly all the hot actresses I have yet to sleep with:

This show is about a Pakistani foreign exchange student from Islamabad named Raja Musharaff. He comes to America to a family with a son who has trouble fitting in at school. The son finds himself relating to Raja, who not only is having trouble fitting in at school but in the country as well. Even though many Muslim people commented on this show as being racist, I believe once they actually watch this show they will realize that it is actually the opposite. In fact they should be happy they are not being portrayed as terrorist for once.

The show portrays most Americans as being ignorant to Raja's Desi culture and even accusing "his people" of knocking down the towers. Sadly I am not surprised that quite a few Americans actually believe that. I once saw a clip where a guy thought 9/11 took place in October, and thought Hindus were the ones who knocked down the towers.

Produced by CBS Paramount Network Television and Warner Bros. Television, the series was officially greenlit and given a thirteen-episode order on May 15, 2007. It is currently scheduled to premiere on October 1, 2007, airing on Monday nights at 8:30/7:30c on The CW, following Everybody Hates Chris. Unfortunately, I do not think this show is going to last. Not only are most Americans not interested in Desi people, this show is competing with a lot of hard to beat shows. Mondays also features shows like, “Prison Break”, “24”, “Heroes”, “2 and a Half Men”, and my favorite “How I Met Your Mother”, and a few more I can not remember.

So in conclusion, is this a good show? Yes, it is. Will it last to become a great show? No, it won’t. Do I hope I am wrong? Yes, I do. Should you guys watch this show so it does well in the ratings? Yes, you should. Should I stop asking myself questions and answering them. Yes, I should.

1. Speak American English.- For example, if they ask “how many years are you?”, you reply with “Huh? Oh you mean how old am I?” Make them look dumb.
- Speak English even when they speak to you in Urdu/Hindi/Punjabi/Gujju, especially if their English is terrible. Pretend you don't understand some words because of their thick accent. And then show them how to really pronounce those words.

3. Aimless glare.
- Start glaring aimlessly with your mouth open and look uninterested.
- This should be done when the ristha side is looking at you and your parents are not.

4. Dress short.- It's sad but desi parents are very big on height
- Don’t dress in high heels or dress shoes.

5. Darkness Factor.
- Go to the beach the day before and stay out in the sun till you bake yourself into an overcooked piece of tandoori chicken.
- Desi people are also racist in a subtle way. They prefer fair skin. (sorry South Indians)

6. Glasses.
- It turns out that desi parents do not like boys/girls with weak vision. Yep, it's all part of natural selection.
- However, on the positive side it makes boys looks smart. So if you are a nerd, try to dress like a punk rocker.
- Don’t wear nice contacts though!They'll assume you're rich.

7. Talking is a judgment call.
- If you talk too much, they might think you’re entertaining or obnoxious.
- If you talk too little, they might think you’re boring or very polite.

8. Twitch or shake.- Pretend you have a nervous twitch and only do it when your parents are not looking.
- If caught by your parents, blame it on staying up all night or your cold.
- For guys, they should shake their legs like they're craving another hit of heroin. It's very annoying to desi parents.

9. Grooming.- Claim you ran out of hair products and couldn’t style your hair.
- Also, try either to not shave or cut yourself on purpose while shaving.
- No cologne is a plus.

10. The bathroom.- Right before you leave, ask if you can go to the bathroom. Use the bathroom but don’t flush. This only works if they have a potty system. If they have the 3rd world toilets, jus take a dump and don't pour the bucket of water. But please, wash your hand!
- If your parents go in after you, say it was them and not you. And if the other family goes in after you, well they won’t be asking you over anytime soon.

Well that concludes “How to loose a ristha in 10 ways.”

If you have more ideas of how to loose a ristha, please post them here in the comments.

The premise of the movie involves Kumar Patel, the Indian American protagonist of the original film, being mistaken for a 'bomb carrying terrorist' while the pair are trying to sneak a bong on board a plane en route to Amsterdam. They are incarcerated in a Guantanamo Bay detainment camp but manage to escape.

The movie follows their adventures as fugitives from the Department of Homeland Security as they travel through Miami to Texas and ultimately find themselves in the ranch-house of President George W. Bush.

'Khuda Ke Liye' or In the Name of God has broken records in the country is bound for the international circuit. The movie deals with the touchy subject of the internal war between moderates and radicals in that country. The CS Monitor had this to say about the movie:

Well, for starters, the only movie theater in Islamabad, Pakistan's capital, was torched by a Sunni mob during sectarian riots four years ago.

But there were other reasons for the trek. I wanted to attend the premier of "Khuda ke Liye" or "In the Name of God," a movie about the religious rift wrenching Pakistan.

The film is being hailed in some segments of Pakistani society as the most important cinematic event in memory. The other draw was the venue: the DHA Cinema, a world-class movie theater, had just opened its doors for the elite of Lahore in "Defense," a posh neighborhood run by the military.

As the title suggests, the movie is about Islam and the battle between two polarized groups – modernized elites carrying the banner of "enlightened moderation" and radicals with their "jihad" – both had claims to the religion.

I took a cab from the house where I was staying. As we pulled up to the theater, the cabbie was as excited as I was. "The last time I saw crowds like this," he bubbled, "was when 'Titanic' came to town." You can read some more reviews of the movie or watch the preview below:

2. Shazia Mirza
This British Comedian of Pakistani origin has some pretty controversial routines, and has apparently received some death threats because of her performances. But she is funny, no doubt.

3. Imrana Zaman
Born in Pakistan and raised in Detroit, Imrana started doing comedy recently stand-up after moving to New York (or is it New Jersey). Check out her first performance at the Laugh Lounge.

4. Rasikha Mathur
Her claim to fame is a recurring role on MTV's Wild'n'Out, but she's also a full time stand-up comedian. She grew up in Houston, TX.

That's it for now, although we're sure that we've missed tons of them. So here's a link to a Google Video Search for desi comedians. Add your own top picks in the comments below.

There are only twelve Kwik-e-Marts in North America, so you might have some difficulty in getting to one if you live off-the-grid. Mind you the change isn't just a signboard replacement, the stores are actually selling products from the Simpsons store, such as Squishees, Buzz Cola and Krusty-Os cereal.

Some people seem to think that this is very racist. But then again what isn't? Has the majority of population started liking African Americans since the civil rights movement? I don't think so. Even desis are notoriously racist towards Blacks. So take the sand out of your vaginas and laugh a little, even if you're poking fun at your own kind.

Bonus: Here're some nice shots of a converted store, and some videos on YouTube.

Via Newsvine